Allowing a pregnancy to happen by using contraception erratically can be a way of testing the relationship and holding on to a partner. If only one of the partners wants a pregnancy, methods may be sabotaged. Pregnancy can be used to control the woman, especially if there is violence in the relationship. A man who is adamant that his woman’s place is in the home may fear loss of control if he does not keep her constantly pregnant. Sometimes cultural and religious views can be called upon to defend the man’s position.
Mr G., an unemployed partially sighted Bangladeshi man, is the father of 11 children and the grandfather of five. Initially, he seemed to accept the fact that his wife was receiving contraceptive advice. He spoke good English although his wife did not. A linkworker was brought in to help interpret. The Pill was chosen and the wife beamed her approval. All went well for about a year but then Mr G. forbade his wife to take it any more insisting that she have another baby as their Moslem religion instructed. It appeared that Mrs G. had no say in the matter and went on to have her twelfth child at the age of 42 years. At her postnatal visit she looked tired and defeated, but Mr G. beamed in triumph and refused to allow his wife to use contraception. The doctor felt angry and frustrated but nothing could be done.
It seems that in this marriage Mr G. felt that his authority was being threatened, perhaps because he was no longer the wage earner, and perhaps as a result of his sense of not being fully in control because of his poor vision. The only way he seemed able to reassert his position was by the use of his fertility.
*22/197/1*
